Bathroom etiquette, or please rip out my eyes

The wife and I went to see The Dukes of Hazard last night, All three kids were gone, and we were bored. We had seen nearly everything else playing at the Old Cineplex, so that was about our only choice.

The movie was exactly what you would expect. I had never seen the TV show, so I am not sure if the plot was reworked, original, etc. Jessica Simpson looks good, but she could not act her way out of a paper bag.

Anyway, this post is not intended to be a movie review. I want to talk about what came after. I headed to the head to get rid of my $5.00 of coke. I was standing at the urinal when this piece of white trash, maybe in his late 20s or early 30s comes in a moves to the urinal right next to me. This, I should not have to say, is bad etiquette since there were other urinals open. He proceeded to drop his pants, boxers, everything. He stood at the urinal, pants around his ankles and took a piss. His big ole' white ass shining for the world to see. As I headed to wash my hands he farted a nasty wet-sounding cloud of methane. As I headed out the door, he was still standing there, left arm in the air while his right hand dug at the armpit. Crab hunting? [insert here shudder].

I guess I never watched the Dukes of Hazard when it made its run on TV because I could see white trash rednecks all around me (and sometimes right in the mirror!).